Here’s the thing about traveling to a different country: it’s hard to not feel like a total idiot at least part of the time. Take me, for example. I have this beautiful apartment and I can hardly figure out how to operate one god damn thing in it. Nearly killed myself with the gas on the stove, it took me 10 minutes to figure out the espresso machine and how to walk out of the building (press the unlabeled button to unlock the door, dummy), and the microwave is still a mystery, although I think it might be now programmed to cook something at some unknown hour for how long I have no idea).
I had to call a handler for the apartment because I couldn’t figure out how to drain the tub, so she showed me that I am just supposed to twist the overflow cover, of course. 😵 She also broke the law and turned the heat up for me – as Rome has strict 10-hours-a-day total of furnace operation, so mine automatically shut off for half the night and I was so cold I was starting to panic over the broken furnace.
But I am at least encountering some people now who are VERY nice to me, like the girl who came about the apartment and all of the waiters at the pizzeria where I had dinner last night. One brought me free wine and lemoncello, another caressed my shoulder and said, “Bellisima,” and at least five of them came to the table to make sure I was happy — and I was starting to feel like I was dangerously close to that Saturday Night Live skit with Kirstie Alley at the Italian restaurant. Google it if you don’t know what I’m talking about – I would but I can’t get at the link right now. Funny as hell and not too far off.
So Rome showed me its softer side, and I warmed up to it ever so slightly. And today I buried myself in the Rome bucket list – I don’t usually like the “tourist track,” but there is a reason tens of millions of people flock to these sights every year. Nowhere is a love of art, a passion for extravagance, and the creative use of a billion metric tons of stone and marble more spectacular. Tomorrow I have a sunrise tour of the Vatican Museums and St. Peter’s Basilica. The Colosseum and such are on the list too, as are, of course, more pizza joints. I predict someone is going to lick my face before I leave this place. Just kidding. Mostly. BTW, that reference is from the Kirstie Alley skit. You have to watch it to get it…..
