Sondra and I got into a fistfight this morning. She is eating all of my yogurt. She bought her own but she doesn’t like it as much as mine. She said it tastes like goats. So I fell asleep on the couch and I woke up to see her wolfing down my yogurt like Gollum. Tomorrow we will have a cage match over the last banana.

Boredom creates strange conversations. I introduced her to the Honey Badger video and she has brought Jackie’s Packey into my life, and now everything is said like the honey badger narrator or Jackie… They are both funny but Sondra and I have decided that we are way funnier. No one is around to argue with us. Haha.

Government still hasn’t called and Sondra is still negative. The CDC says I’m not contagious anymore counting backward from the day my symptoms started but I’m not really sure what to do with that information. If Sondra tests positive, the clock starts over because we both need negative tests to fly home. I also read that a person can continue to test positive well after their contagious period is over. We are in true limbo, so for now we will just keep on keeping on. And I’m hiding the yogurt. 😎

Captivity – Day 4

Sondra Morgan swears she smells something rotten in our house. It occurs to me that it’s probably us because this morning neither of us could remember our last shower. I fear by the time we are off of quarantine, we will be shadowy versions of our former selves.

We have begun to create our own language, as tribes that live in isolation often do. It contains words like immagoseedat and watchootink and eyeontno. Sondra is also trying to repurpose some old words like prolific instead of prophetic and that pirates blunder rather than plunder. I had to draw the line on that one and I locked her out of the house for the rest of the day.

Today was a work day and it felt good to have something meaningful to do besides watch Lucifer, walk aimlessly around town, drink wine and try to catch the salamander I keep seeing in the living room. Don’t get me wrong – still plenty of time to do those things too, but at least I know that my brain isn’t completely rotten. Yet.

Still no call from the government and Sondra still tests negative, so we’ve begun to discuss our exit plan. The question is whether I’m in the system at all or not – they have my passport info and it’s conceivable that if it was entered in but they just missed the phone call to me, there could be a block on it until I’ve been “released” from quarantine. But how do I get released if I was never fully in the system? These are deep thoughts better left for wine-thirty. Or is it better NOT left for wine-thirty. I can’t remember anymore.

Captivity – Day 5

I lost a cage match with Sondra Morgan – she is a sneaky, wicked foe. How did she get me? With a simple request: “Can you crack my back?” Of course, I oblige, so I first try to give her back a stretch. What happened next is hard to describe and also a little hard to recall because I’m pretty sure I have a closed head wound, but I’ll try. As I pressed down on her hip and opposite shoulder with my body weight, my hands slipped on her silky polyester jacket and, because I was leaning forward, when the hand on her hip slipped, it slipped towards me and got pinned underneath me as I fell. So, with no way to catch myself, my face bounced hard off the cement floor, which was only covered by a rough jute carpet. To say I saw stars would be a laughable understatement. I think I saw Jesus.

I had a negative COVID test this morning and Sondra is still negative, so we were excited to do some real exploring. Also, a handsome old friend of mine is coincidentally visiting Santorini with his parents and I was looking forward to seeing him for the first time in ten years. Yeah, with a big shiner. What the hell. That should leave a wonderful impression. I’ll just say that Sondra went berzerk and punched me.

Conversation with someone besides each other would be welcome as I fear we are losing touch with reality in our isolation bubble. For example, Sondra can’t stop singing, “Do Your Thang Girl” – a total stripper song – morning, noon, and night. As for me, I finally caught the salamander that had been running around the living room – caught it with my bare hands, and then I ate it like I was a contestant on Survivor.

Just kidding. I put it outside. But I have started wearing art from the walls of our house as accessories, and that can’t be a good sign.

My head is throbbing, but I’m just lucky I didn’t break my nose. That would be hilarious. But I shouldn’t joke about such things -we have five days left and I can’t rule anything out at this point.

Peace and love. Also, please send ice packs. 🤕😓