People ask me all the time if I’m ever scared when I’m traveling alone. The answer is yes, pretty much every day. I don’t know the language, I don’t know how things work, I often don’t really know where I am. Also, I am an introvert in some of the most peculiar ways, and sometimes I have to give myself a pep talk before I ever leave my room. I do always follow the basic tenants of safety, however, or at least I try to, and I try to learn from the times before when I should have been smarter – like when I handed that gypsy my purse. But anyway, I push myself out of my comfort zone every day because I feel like, if I’m never out of my element, then I’m not really living well. Maybe it’s the remnant of a midlife crisis, maybe it’s fear of my mortality, or maybe I just think the world has so many interesting details waiting to be discovered. I am spurred on, however, by the kind words of my friends who say they like to travel vicariously with me. That means a lot to me. I love to share the photos and stories, but in some ways I feel like I’m just figuring out the rough patches so it’s easier for the next one of you to go. 👍🤗
I guess you might say that I saved the best for last. Today, the last day of my birthday junket, I saw the Colosseum, the Forum, and Palatine Hill. I got there via the Jewish ghetto, a beautiful but historically sad district of the city.
Scanning it all and imagining how extremely grandiose it all was, I was left with one overarching thought: The Romans and early Christians were really assholes. They were monsters. They killed people for fun in front of cheering crowds of 75,000. The floor of the arena was covered in sand because it soaked up blood better. And they ran their empires with tens of thousands of slaves – people they had captured in “holy wars”. Didn’t seem so holy. As I looked around the Colosseum, all I felt, to be honest, was sad. They forced prisoners to fight wild animals and each other to the death. For fun. I feel horrified – sincerely horrified.
So my conclusion was that the Roman Empire fell because it was evil, from the emperors on down. Sons killed father’s, brothers killed brothers, wives killed husbands…being an emperor was dangerous business, and brutality was rewarded with brutality. I figure they all deserved it.
And an interesting fact: The Colosseum looks ravaged today because Romans pillaged it for centuries, taking marble and stone for their own building projects and chiseling holes at the joints to steal the metal support brackets. Their society is lucky that any of it is left standing at all. It wasn’t until the 1800s that somebody thought maybe they should do something to try to preserve the artifacts of the Romans as monuments. It’s really pretty fascinating to look at all of it and imagine the wealth and power, staggering really, but then I suggest you consider getting the hell out of Rome into the little villages instead. Or at least make a few concessions in how you look at the city if you are looking for a blissful tourism experience.
First, if you hate smoking, this might not be the place for you. Everyone smokes. Babies smoke. OK, that’s an exaggeration, but I probably wouldn’t be surprised if I saw a toddler with a cigarette. Also, if graffiti makes you angry, don’t come here. Everything- and I mean everything- is graffitied. I think I’m actually graffitied on my back by now. Also, I rolled my suitcase over a very dead rat the first day, though, to be fair, I haven’t seen one since. Point is, it’s a big, kind-of-dirty city with some really interesting historical features.
And what I learned is that a lot of Romans don’t have good manners towards tourists, and they don’t have to because people flock here by the millions anyway. But I decided that, no matter how awkward, I wouldn’t give my business to a place where the staff wasn’t nice to me from the start. That meant turning around and walking out of the line at a gelateria – basically an ice cream shop – because the guy was rude to me when I didn’t immediately know what I wanted. Never mind. Bye. He looked surprised. But when more people do that, they will begin to understand. I bought some gelato, but not from him.
I also had to make a few concessions on my belief system for traveling here and I’m better for it. I’ve been so bent on getting off of the tourist trail that I failed to realize sometimes a place is popular with tourists because it’s doing it better. Sometimes it’s just shitty, overpriced food with menus in English, but there is a middle ground. I found it tonight for dinner – I place I HATED the idea of going to because it’s rated really well on Yelp. But I’d walked in circles looking for somewhere that felt “authentic” until I was so hungry I nearly ate my own arm. And guess what? The food was really, really good, and every person was so nice to me, and they even brought me an aperitivo (little appetizer) before my food came and a shot of grappa (😵) after I was done. And as I left, every single staff person I passed said thank you and good evening. AND I was surrounded by Italians and tourists. Hello, middle ground. Thanks for the lesson.
And here’s a little travel lesson from me: If I don’t want to talk to someone, which in Rome is plenty of the time, I just pretend I can’t speak whatever language they are speaking. English will earn you a blank stare. So will Italian, German and French (well, because I don’t speak them- ha). If you press me to say something, I will make up a language. I don’t care. It’s my trip. I don’t have to talk to you. Try it – it’s very liberating. 👍
